Dr. Wagner reveals he’s a UGA super fan

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When asked to describe his perfect day, Dr. Wagner instead drew a picture. "Glory, glory to old Georgia!" he exclaimed.

If you happen to keep up with Georgia Tech football (most people don’t because why bother?), you may have heard that longtime head coach Paul Johnson retired after this past season. “Why should I care about this?” you may ask. Because with Johnson’s retirement reveals a change in someone we all know, math teacher Dr. Douglas Wagner.

Whether it was a simple “even in Athens, the answer is…” after an easy math problem or warning students to keep their windows rolled up if they’re going to the UGA campus over the weekend (to be safe from flying free diplomas), Dr. Wagner has loved to voice his distaste for UGA over the years.

But not everyone is buying the Georgia Tech super fan’s hatred for all things red and black.

“It’s honestly kind of suspicious,” junior Witt Hollensbe said. “If he hates UGA so much, why does he bring it up all the time?”

Finally brave enough to bare his soul to the world and sending shock waves throughout the St. Pius community, Dr. Wagner recently revealed that he’s been covering up a big secret… He IS a UGA fan! Yes – you heard that right. After Johnson’s retirement announcement, Dr. Wagner has also decided to permanently split from Georgia Tech football.

“It wasn’t a hard decision at all,” he said. “I’ve always been a Dawg fan on the inside. The colors are better, the cheers are better, and you don’t even have to paint the thousands of empty seats to make the stadium look full for a white out game like you do for those bumble bees at Tech!”

When UGA football head coach Kirby Smart made a surprise appearance at a St. Pius basketball game in February, Dr. Wagner was first in line to meet him.

“I found it a little weird that he cut all the kids in line,” Smart said. “He told me he was going to show the picture of us to all his friends and tell them how well we got along. Then he kind of invited himself over for dinner at my house. I wanted to say no, but when I saw the UGA tattoo on his ankle, I didn’t want to crush his dream. He was just so darn giddy.”

Though he knows UGA lost some notable players to the NFL draft this past season, Dr. Wagner is excited for the Bulldawgs’ future. He plans to paint his classroom red and black this summer to prepare for next season, and he spent his spring break apartment hunting in Athens.

“I’ve been practicing calling the Dawgs,” he said. “So far, I can hold out the ‘goooooooooooo’ part for a total of 22 seconds, but my goal is 45.”

Some other traditions he looks forward to are the Dawg Walk and ringing the bells after a win. Thankfully, he will get a preview at UGA’s spring game on April 20.

“I already have my tickets for G-Day,” he said. “I’m sitting on the first row at the 50 yard line. I really hope Jake Fromm notices me!”

Don’t we all, Dr. Wagner?